Man Utd boss Ten Hag ‘gone by Christmas’ and Man City should receive five 20-point deductions

The Mailbox reckons Man Utd manager Erik ten Hag could be gone before the New Year. Also: How should Man City be punished if found guilty?

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Man City punishment
I’m just wondering with City’s trial hearing coming up and it’s looking more and more like they will be found guilty of numerous breaches of FFP how how would football fans like to see them punished?

I’m torn at the moment between three options.

1. Expulsion from the premier league back to championship or even league one. Would be dramatic and impactful but at most would last 1-2 seasons before normal disservice resumes.

2. Currently I’m attracted to the idea of a 100 point deduction but spread out over the years they were found to be in breach of financial fairly, eg 20 points a season deducted for 5 seasons. I think this would be far more effective than option one and more reflective of the impact of City breaking FFP in the first place. That is instead of having what feels like an unnatural and unfair advantage every season they would experience the opposite. It feels more fitting and comparable to what other football fans have experienced. Or

3. Pep Guardiola admits unequivocally and on the record one time that his at City success was achieved by unfair means and should be discredited.

Tough one eh?
Dave LFC

LFC thoughts ahead of Old Trafford
Two 2:0 wins; Two 2:0 wins that could easily have been more. But also two games in a row where the team – that has no small amount of tall players – looks susceptible to balls into the box.

Still, pretty good so far. The only thing that is definitely getting some used-to is the slow progression of the ball through midfield. I know you’ve written an article about how alike the sides are, but to me they seem polar opposites.

What Slot is doing is clearly working (against sides LFC would look to beat, more often than not), but it is not lost on me that what looks ‘normal’ for his side is exactly what looked ‘bad’ when Klopp’s side did it. eg the phase of the games(s) against United at Old Trafford where LFC were at their most dominant and comfortable, under Klopp’s football yielded bugger all goals: It was the rock+roll and the press that created the chances. When things were calm, as they were against United, or when 1:0 up at Atalanta, it was a surefire sign things were awry.

But, under Slot’s system, the more cautious + slow style seems to actually be able to create chances. Albeit, even whilst they are creating those chances, I’m fretting that things ‘look too slow’ and it all feels so alien and wrong.

So I suppose the true test would be whether this patient approach does yield goals against sides where LFC have dropped points. What’s next on the fixture list? Old Trafford away? feck.
Tom G

Early days
Early days but Liverpool are looking quite handy. Maybe we got lucky with one manager who knew how to pass the baton and another to take it.
Aidan, Lfc (Utd will be the real test)

READ MORE: Slot’s Liverpool look an awful lot like Klopp’s Liverpool, and that’s a pretty solid strategy

They weren’t great but…
To every so-called United fan saying ETH shouldn’t have taken such and such a player off and should’ve started player a over player b could you please get a little bit more background knowledge of the squad currently?

FYI:

1) De Ligt has barely had a pre season and is not fully fit.
2) Maguire is also coming back from injury
3) Garnacho is a young player who played at a tournament in South America this Summer and a heck of a lot of football last year
4) Mason Mount was injured at half time yesterday and United have lost all control every time he’s gone off anyway
5) Zirkzee also is very new to the side with very little training. When he has been on the pitch, United have lost control of games (though not necessarily his fault)

Now I can’t defend Rashford, he seems on borrowed time. And unless Ten Hag stops us being so soft all the time he’ll be gone by Christmas.

But the season does not end after two games you absolute ducking melts.
Ash (not looking great mind) Metcalfe

Man Utd SOS
So, here we go again with United’s annual SOS (Same Old Sh*te) Alert:

Can’t get near enough to the opposition goal to score, and can’t keep them out at the other end. Wash, rinse and repeat.

One thing I’ve learned to come to terms with over the years is that most professional footballers today only have one decent foot. That being the case why do we persist with this inverted winger cr*p, FFS?

Amad and Antony both have a decent turn of pace and a functional left foot, but invariably stop, check and turn into traffic once they are level with the penalty area. Why not push them out to the left, at least for parts of the game, to try their hand at y’know, getting to the old-fashioned byline, and feed those in better positions in the box?

Old man shouting at the clouds, part 99 …
ET King (MUFC)

MORE ON MAN UTD FROM F365
👉 Premier League sack race: Ten Hag only second behind doomed Chelsea boss Maresca
👉 Mason Mount a sacrifice at his best as Ten Hag to blame for De Ligt’s Maguire impression

On Ten Hag and the next two months
One way or another, ETH’s future will be decided in the next two months imo. As usual under him, United were a combination of unlucky and typically self-destructive by somehow losing to Brighton despite the home team being pretty terrible.

But, assuming Ugarte comes in, and De Ligt replaces Maguire, ETH will finally have an XI that can in theory play his fabled football. Last season United were atrocious, but this was largely due to football being played by the XI players out there, not some imaginary fit first team. A modern style with Evans and Maguire as a back 4? Impossible. Balance without a single fit LB for a season? Unlikely. Control in midfield with this Casemiro and Bruno? Nope. Loads of goals with only one senior CF who was available half the time? No sir.

But here we are: after the international break, ETH should have the legs to do the pressing with a hugely mobile front 4, destructive ability in the middle with Ugarte and a settled defence who can actually pass the ball to other players. And so the football needs to get good, and fast, or ETH will rightly be gone by November.
Ryan, Bermuda

…It gives me no pleasure in saying this and I hope I am eventually proven wrong over the course of the season. Man Utd look the same as last season with all the residual optimism from the cup win and new signings. Liverpool also look the same as last season with no new signings.
Shivam, MUFC

Captain Pedantic
This isn’t a comment about how disjointed MUFC were, the head scratching line and substittutions or the comparative cost of the two squads.

My question is a simple one… could someone please explain to me how Zirkzee was interfering with play? If it hit him and changed the direction of the ball leaving the keeper helpless to stop it, I entirely understand but the keep was probably 10 yards away.
Adidasmufc (Anyone else think that Ineos told ETH he can keep his job but has to take RVN as his assistant and that Ineos has him lined up to take over by xmas?)

Chelsea – Contractual obligation to buy £1.5bn of players?
If Clearlake had a contractual obligation to buy at least £1.5bn of players as part of their takeover of Chelsea this would explain most of their behaviour.

In an ideal world, they refresh the team, landbank a load of talent, and unearth some gems along the way.

Worst case, they end up spending £3.0bn to buy Chelsea (£1.5bn for the club and £1.5bn for the players) which was probably close to market value anyway.

At £30m per player, it’s only 50 players. Adding in some “premium” purchases, maybe only 30’ish, and even if you overpay for Enzo, Caicado, Lavia, Fofana, Cucurella, etc who cares…you were going to have to spend that money anyway.

Selling players is PSR related…an inconvenience, but not related to this. Binning off anyone earning over £200k per week is just good business practice.

Once the trolley dash is finished, they clean up and move on. In the meantime, they slosh their way through the mire they’ve created.

It all makes sense,
Matthew (ITFC)

The end is nigh for Scott McTominay’s Man United career.

It’s never nice to see an academy player leave. He was always game and always put a shift in. That shouldn’t be a highlight for a professional footballer, but it’s not something that can be said about a lot of his team mates in the last six or seven years. He also scored a lot of important goals, especially last season.

But let’s call a spade a spade. He is an atrocious midfielder. Not an atrocious player. An atrocious midfielder.

He has the positional sense of a paper bag in the wind. When asked to play as a ‘6’ or in a double pivot, he is forever caught ahead of the ball and running fruitlessly back towards his own goal.

He certainly offers something as a ’10’ type player crashing the box and getting on the end of things, but in terms of breaking up or dictating play? No.

We already have one player whose best position is occupied by one Fernandes, B. (c), so moving on McTominay, presumably to make room for Manuel Ugarte, makes sense.

Ugarte is no Rodri (or Zubamendi or de Jong), and he won’t put his foot on the ball like Paul Scholes will want him to, but as a destroyer at the base of midfield, he is set to fulfill a hugely important role for United.

We have enough “progressive” midfielders in Mainoo, Bruno, Mount and Eriksen (for a few mins at a time!) Even Casemiro has under rated passing skills.

What United do need is someone to do Casemiro’s lateral running for him and stop every game turning into a basketball game. If all Ugarte ever does is stop opposition counters and then roll it 5 yards to Mainoo, Mazraoui or Bruno, then he will be a hugely positive addition.

Pirlo needed a Gattuso. Xabi Alonso needed a Mascherano. Lampard, Ballack and Essien needed a Makelele (as did the Galacticos in Madrid). Unselfish and unglamorous workhorses can be the making of a team.

An Ugarte profile at ‘6’ could free Kobbie Mainoo to be more forward thinking (not to mention he already looks knackered from doing Casemiro’s running for him).

It also means United can save Casemiro from the Thursday night slog and let him focus on playing once a week. Collyer is also there for some minutes early on in the Europa.

McTominay > Ugarte is a huge (if unglamarous) upgrade. For years United fans have been wishing the club to sign young, hungry players that are not “obvious” signings, but fit a system and come at the right price. INEOS are now doing so.

Before the social media army, and at least one of Souness, Carragher, TalkSport, Sherwood, Merson, Andy Gray (is he still a thing?) attack United/ten Hag for “selling a proven goalscorer for a young kid who failed at PSG”, let’s all admit that this is a smart signing all round.
James, MUFC
P.S. Sell Sancho to anyone who’ll have him, but please for the love of God, hang up the phone as soon as you hear words like “part exchange”, “Sterling” or “Chilwell”…

AI on Man Utd
I wrote something after the Utd game and the inevitable subsequent doom mongering. Then I ran it through AI to see how Hunter S Thompson would handle it and it came out far more interesting.

Let’s pause and take a goddamn breath. This summer has been a cacophony of chaos and trade, a marketplace of souls. Thirteen gladiators have been sold down the river or unshackled whilst the market is still hungry, whispering about the exits of others.

Meanwhile, we’ve kidnapped 4 new pawns for our blood-soaked chessboard with more deals lurking in the shadows, and two 18-year-old sprouts burgeoning on the horizon.

On the bench, it’s like shuffling the deck in a smoke-filled casino. Three first-team coaches gone, a new assistant manager, first team coach, a set-piece schemer, and a guardian of the net. The suits have been shuffled too – we’ve got a fresh chief executive, director of football, technical chief, CFO, and a temporary transfer conductor.

One of our high-stake gambles is benched for months, our primary hitman sidelined for four weeks, and our left flanks are still hobbling. One newbie threw himself into the crucible four days post-signing, while the other two have barely stretched their legs.

Cry ‘give it time’ all you want, but how can all this upheaval not breed the early pain of rebirth? Look close, through the haze of nicotine and whiskey, and you’ll spot the glimmers of progress. Progress, that wicked temptress, is no finished symphony but the muted strains of improvement. We overwhelmed Fulham, save for a few daring escapes (far fewer than last season’s nightmares), and could have claimed glory against Brighton if Garnacho hadn’t turned sniper on Zirkzee’s knee.

We weren’t steamrolled; the loss wasn’t a crucifixion but a series of dreadful, solitary blunders. Failing to clear a cross or neglecting a second-chance defense—that’s human error, not systemic collapse.

Liverpool looms—a marquee clash that’ll light fires, regardless of the outcome, one way or another. Yet, it’s the skirmishes post-international break where the real blood will spill.

Mark September 14th, Southampton awaits. Assuming no fresh curses, Shaw and Hojlund should be combat-ready, new warriors more settled, fitness honed, and the chaotic ballet of new tactics, shapes, and patterns ingrained into their muscle memory. This is when the alibis evaporate, and improvement must transmute into cold, hard results. Until then, breathe. Relax. The storm isn’t over, but we’ve seen the first flashes of dawn.
Matt and Hunter

Hope for Aston Villa
Fair Fs to Arsenal, good value for the win in the end, in terms of doing the important stuff that doesn’t need an x in front of it. And that’s the kind of performance that gets pundits making clichéd statements about the kind of performances that win titles. Ignore the celebration police, we’re all counting on you to slay the dragon.

As for Villa, no fun in losing but the fact that all 4 Emery-Arteta games have been so close is a silver lining that takes the edge off a bit (if a lining can take an edge off?). The reappearance of Gerrard-era Watkins in the last 2 games is frightening tbh, seeing as our only other striker is a lunatic and we never keep a clean sheet.

But looking at the next few fixtures, out hardest (league) game between now and November is probably Man Utd at home. I’ll leave that there.

And lastly… Morgan Rogers 🥶. Was turning in these performances pretty regularly from Feb onwards last season, but now it’s happened in a game where people were paying attention, it should put to bed this guff about us signing Sterling/Grealish, right?
Neil Raines UTV

Manc maths
So Aman (I miss De Gea) is including soon to be signed players in his list of 5 Man U first team absentees. Can we please call that Manc Maths?
Alex (LFC)

Can’t see the Forrest for the Greek
I’ve seen many a complaint about the multi club model like City and inter group transfers, such as the recent winger transfer.

But does anyone know what the hell is going on over at Forest? They’ve just bought a 25 yr old (not some youth prospect) CB and immediately shipped him off to Olympiakos for the season… What’s the plan here?

It’s the second time they have bought a senior player to send them over to Olympiakos this window alone.

Had this been a middle eastern club buying players and loaning them immediately to Newcastle then there would rightfully be questions asked.

Is this purely a rich fan of a Greek club using Forrest as a piggy bank?

Ta muchly,
Dave (what happened to the comments?) PVFC