There are conflicting ideas over Matthijs de Ligt, Dominic Solanke and Niclas Fullkrug but more of a consensus over the title, relegation and first sacking.
As is traditional, tell me who will win the league.
Sarah Winterburn: Man City and I think this time the gap will be bigger. Not because they will improve but because no club has challenged them three times in this dominant era. And nothing Arsenal have done this summer suggests they will.
Matt Stead: Sticking with Arsenal. Mikel Arteta robbing his own players > Manchester City shattering the British transfer record to replace Oscar Bobb and Julian Alvarez.
John Nicholson: Football is unpredictable as a sport, except the Premier League. How great it would be to say Brentford or Palace had a chance, but no, It’s City. Again. Boring. Unsustainable.
Dave Tickner: Man City, innit. Think they’re going to be particularly dull about it this year as well, winning it with about 12 points to spare and barely being interesting for a single second.
Ian Watson: Can only see the lawyers stopping City.
Will Ford: Always Manchester City while Pep Guardiola remains.
Jason Soutar: Arsenal. F**k Man City and Pep Guardiola’s (potential) Last Dance.
Lewis Oldham: One final Premier League title for Pep Guardiola as his Man City farewell year outdoes Jurgen Klopp’s at Liverpool.
MORE ON THE TITLE RACE
👉 Why Arsenal don’t ‘have to’ win the league and how Ten Hag could be sacked by Christmas
👉 Arsenal or Man City? Paul Scholes reveals his ‘expected’ winner in Premier League title prediction
And the rest of the top four, in order. Which nobody ever gets right.
SW: Arsenal, Liverpool and then frankly, f*** knows. Let’s say Manchester United some way back.
MS: Manchester City, Tottenham, Liverpool.
JN: Arsenal, a long way behind. Chelsea, despite being a joke. Liverpool, despite losing a manager
DT: Well known that this is literally impossible but getting excuses in early it feels even more impossible than ever with City and Arsenal the only two teams anyone could really be at all confident about. So many unknowns and variables at the six other clubs you’d imagine might be in contention, who could frankly finish in any order from third to eighth (or lower) without anyone being all that surprised about any of it.
Having established that this will definitely be wrong, I’m going Arsenal, Liverpool, Newcastle with a confidence of almost zero.
IW: Arsenal, Man Utd (why do I do it?), Aston Villa. I’ll give you a different answer in 10 minutes featuring only one of those teams.
WF: Arsenal, Tottenham, Aston Villa. Liverpool will struggle, Man Utd will be worse and the less said about Chelsea the better.
JS: Man City, Newcastle, Liverpool. Not convinced by Erik ten Hag at Man Utd, think Spurs will rightly prioritise cup competitions, Aston Villa will not be as good, and Chelsea are a mess.
LO: Arsenal, Liverpool and Tottenham. Arne Slot-ball will bring Liverpool closer to Arsenal (who will win a trophy) than last season, while City’s gap at the top increases to… I’ll say, seven points. Erik ten Hag’s sacking will come too late, which will give Spurs/Newcastle a free(er) run at fourth.
Three picks for relegation please.
SW: Ipswich, Southampton and Leicester. Sometimes you can try and be too clever.
MS: Ipswich will put up the strongest fight by some way but yep, the promoted clubs are heading straight back down again.
JN: Predictability rules again: Ipswich, Southampton, Forest.
DT: Not exactly shattering the earth to say all three promoted teams will struggle, but think Leicester can stay up at Forest’s expense with a bit of Steve Cooper #narrative in there. So Ipswich, Southampton, Forest.
IW: Southampton, Leicester, Forest.
WF: Ipswich, Southampton, Leicester. They’re unfortunate to have come up into one of the strongest fields I can remember. The gap grows.
JS: Brentford, Southampton, Leicester.
LO: Nottingham Forest, Southampton and Leicester City. The Foxes come into this season weaker than last, Russell Martin’s Saints will be more pragmatic than Vincent Kompany’s Burnley but still not strong enough and I’m not sold on Forest’s business/Nuno Espirito Santo.
Which club will be a pleasant surprise?
SW: Everton will serenely be in mid-table. Will that surprise?
MS: Chelsea will do well, but while that will surprise some it will not be in any way pleasant. If Brentford can avoid half their squad being unavailable this time they should get back to their nose-bloodying best.
JN: No alarms, no surprises. Everything will be as you imagine.
DT: Palace being in the top half and finally breaking 50 points will be pleasant but not really that surprising after the way they finished last season. Not sure of the actual answer but here’s hoping it’s West Ham purely to ensure that all those smug “careful what you wish for” columns your Ollie Holts have got in their drafts never see the light of day. They’ve certainly done interesting bits this summer, anyway.
IW: Having tipped Ipswich to stay up, it’s the Tractor Boys almost by default. Very interested to see West Ham, but they might struggle to be considered a surprise or pleasant.
WF: Bournemouth will be in the mix for Europe before Andoni Iraola has his head turned by one of the big boys.
JS: Ipswich. Staying up would be a pleasant surprise and I can see it happening.
LO: Ipswich Town. Will be cushty between 11th and 14th. Not quite Sheffield United and Leeds United’s top-half finishes after promotion, but their momentum from back-to-back promotions, a positive window and – most importantly – Kieran McKenna staying comfortably sees them safe. Everton will be in a similar spot as they enjoy a decent final year at Goodison Park.
Who will win the Golden Boot?
SW: Funny. Only a fool will look beyond Haaland.
MS: While compiling these predictions, the temptation to name someone else is particularly powerful in light of Winty’s tip. But yeah, Haaland.
JN: No alarms, no surprises again. Haaland, the world’s best goalscorer and poorest footballer.
DT: Boring/correct answer is the Goalbot 3000, each-way value is Alexander Isak on the simple basis that he’s a way bigger price and, in a league of attacking midfielders and wide forwards, he is currently the next best Proper Striker.
IW: Would love to say someone other than Haaland, but him.
WF: Erling Haaland.
JS: Erling Haaland…will not. It’s going to be Mohamed Salah.
LO: To be different, Alexander Isak. I’m banking on Erling Haaland getting injured, but Newcastle United’s No.14 is mustard.
Which new signing will have the greatest positive impact?
SW: There has not been a single incoming signing that is screaming massive success as yet but I do think Niclas Fullkrug will somehow buck the West Ham striker trend.
MS: West Ham had the worst defensive record outside the bottom three last season; Max Kilman, Jean-Clair Todibo and Julen Lopetegui help sort that out so let’s say Todibo because that would probably wind Ratcliffe up more than me working from home does.
JN: Matthijs de Ligt.
DT: With the caveat that the actual correct answer quite possibly hasn’t actually happened yet – it was Cole Palmer last season, after all – I’d currently go for Riccardo Calafiori. We’re assuming he’ll play left-back and thus allow Mikel Arteta to finally solve the one remaining point of relative weakness in his Pep-emulating dream of having four comfortable-on-the-ball centre-backs spread out across his back four and bring a step closer their joint plan to eliminate the full-back altogether.
IW: Dominic Solanke could go either way but I fancy him to justify the price tag. And Niclas Fullkrug… West Ham with an actual striker should be useful.
WF: Emile Smith Rowe, more in hope than expectation as he seems like a nice boy. Would also be nice for the Arsenal transfer brain trust to get one wrong.
JS: Amario Cozier-Duberry could shine if given adequate minutes by Brighton. That is a big if so my answer is his new team-mate, Yankuba Minteh.
LO: Fabio Carvalho. Surprised Liverpool have let him go, was superb for Hull City last season and should provide the perfect foil for Ivan Toney (if he stays). Also, Emile Smith Rowe will be great at Fulham.
And which one will turn out to be a massive flop?
SW: Just not having that kind of money for Dominic Solanke.
MS: In terms of money paid compared to output, there is no beating £20m for Odysseas Vlachodimos, perhaps ever. Based on expectation, Emile Smith Rowe will be powerless to stop Fulham struggling post-Palhinha. And Brighton circumventing any potential issues in appointing a child as manager by just dropping the average age of their summer signings by about two decades will throw up at least one questionable call. Brajan Gruda and Georginio Rutter will find it tough.
JN: One of Chelsea’s over-priced stupids, if not then Solanke’s nine goals will prove what we all suspect.
DT: Anyone signed by Chelsea is by definition a contender here, obviously. Dominic Solanke is either going to score four goals or 20 goals as Tottenham finish either ninth or third, so it might be him. Ditto Niclas Fullkrug given West Ham and Spurs have an equally proud record in the striker signing department. But top of my list, though, is Matthijs de Ligt at Man United. Hasn’t really kicked on in the way anyone expected or hoped since Ajax and if a club is pretty happy to sell you because they have Eric Dier then, well, yeah. Makes you think.
IW: Iliman Ndiaye. Everton should just stop bothering to sign strikers.
WF: Not sure he’s going to play enough to be considered a flop, but it’s slim pickings this year, so Joshua Zirkzee. He’s a striker who doesn’t score goals and Manchester United already have one of those.
JS: The centre-back fascination continues. Matthijs de Ligt.
LO: Joshua Zirkzee. Expect teething issues similar to Rasmus Hojlund and Man Utd overall are not as exciting as some are making out.
MORE FLOPPY COVERAGE
👉 De Ligt flop? Why Manchester United will ignore Souness, Scholes and Sherwood nonsense
👉 Ten flop of the season contenders features Matthijs de Ligt and a Chelsea trio
Who will be the biggest bloody bargain?
SW: Daichi Kamada for nothing for Palace is quite the coup.
MS: Nikola Milenkovic next to Murillo for one season before the latter sods off to Chelsea for £80m will be fun. He solves a couple of Nottingham Forest problems just by being massive.
JN: Carvalho to Brentford will be good for them, though hardly a bargain in any real sense.
DT: Aaron Wan-Bissaka to West Ham looks like the very ideal kind of thing. Pretty sure the £8m Spurs paid back in January for Lucas Bergvall to arrive this summer is going to look stupidly cheap stupidly quickly, but if that doesn’t count on a technicality then how about a player leaving Spurs instead? Utterly if largely inexplicably convinced that Ryan Sessegnon is going to do great things now he’s back at Fulham. It just feels right.
IW: Perhaps not immediately, but Archie Gray will be a snip at £35million.
WF: Savinho because £21m definitely isn’t fair market price.
JS: Daichi Kamada on a free? Oh, go on then…
LO: Ryan Sessegnon back to Fulham on a free. Provided he stays fit, he should burst back onto the scene.
Who will be named the PFA Player of the Year?
SW: Let’s give it to the actual best player in the Premier League: Rodri.
MS: Bukayo Saka. And a great many people will still think he is rubbish along the way.
JN: De Ligt. United have got one right.
DT: Doubling down on Isak here because all the assorted City or Arsenal answers are, while far more likely, irredeemably dull.
IW: Martin Odegaard or Bruno Fernandes… Odegaard.
WF: Cole Palmer. Had to get some Chelsea positivity in somehow and the guy’s ridiculous.
JS: Declan Rice for the title winners.
LO: Kevin De Bruyne. The Last Dance for the injury-free Man City star.
First manager to leave their Premier League job?
SW: Nuno at Forest. Not won over the fans yet and the owner could kneejerk.
MS: Marco Silva. Poor end to the season, key players lost in the summer and the usual deadline day deal dash will backfire. This is also already the longest post of the Portuguese’s entire managerial career, and his tenure is the current fourth-longest in the Premier League. Doesn’t sound right.
JN: Russell Martin, in a typically ungrateful way.
DT: Main prediction here is that we get absolute managergeddon after last season’s weirdly subdued Sack Race efforts. A lot more clubs are going into this season with either objectively worse managers or the same managers but in a far weaker position. Don’t think any of Ten Hag, Maresca, Silva or Nuno see May in their current jobs, and they won’t be the only ones to go either. Nuno goes first, though, with the big galaxy brains running Chelsea desperate not to be seen to panic despite slumping to 12th by November amid a mutinous atmosphere at Stamford Bridge.
IW: Leicester face a slog of a season and Steve Cooper could be a convenient early scapegoat.
WF: Erik ten Hag. Still can’t believe they didn’t sack him after last season.
JS: Won’t be Enzo Maresca. That contract is too long. Could be Erik ten Hag but won’t be. Let’s pluck for Brighton rookie Fabian Hurzeler.
LO: I actually don’t think there will be a sacking for a couple of months, but Nuno Espirito Santo will be the first to go.
Pick the Champions League winner.
SW: Not looking beyond Real Madrid after they added Kylian Mbappe to an already stacked squad.
MS: Real Madrid, despite looking good for about five minutes all tournament.
JN: Real Madrid is the boring choice. So that’s a guarantee.
DT: Bayern Munich, after sacking Vincent Kompany some time in November having already thoroughly torpedoed their hopes of reclaiming their Bundesliga title, at which point new manager Oliver Glasner decides to focus on Europe. Harry Kane misses the final through injury, prompting endless sh*tpost-led discussion about whether he’s really ended his trophy drought or not.
IW: The holders and best side in Europe have just signed Kylian Mbappe. So them, obviously.
WF: Paris Saint-Germain to beat Real Madrid and Kylian Mbappe in the final.
JS: Real Madrid is the boring answer and boring is what I will be.
LO: Real Madrid. That team is a joke.
In five words, tell us what you are most excited about this season.
SW: Liverpool under anybody but Klopp.
MS: Rio Ferdinand shouting “Ballon d’Or”.
JN: Watching Morton in the rain.
DT: Sh*t Champions League format discourse.
IW: Man City before a judge.
WF: One hundred and fifteen charges.
JS: Saka and Emile Smith…oh.
LO: Steve Evans’ Rotherham United circus.
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